One of the greatest dichotomies in recent
sociology is the way we approach the others, especially when there’s a
master-apprentice relationship, when one must educate the other or just when
one element has to take the initiative for no matter what weird reasons. The
two options are diametrically opposite, since one is based in strengh,
authority and powerful represion of non-allowed attitudes, and the other tries
to convince rather than defeat, to act softly and win adepts for the cause.
It’s difficult to choose one. One may even
think that he is being tough and the others consider that as tender as a
feather thrust. Or just the other way round: an apparently self-confessed
loving man will appear a complete devil in the eyes of the cattle.
Take boss-employee relationship. For no matter
which reason, the former is always a bloody bastard with no possibility of
redeem; the latter, on the contrary, turns out to be the ultimate lazy unless
unskilled worker, even though he has two degrees and a master by the university
of life. When the employer adopts a brother-like, gently manner with the
laborer, he will systematically try to escape his duties, reaching the point of
laughing at the face of the dumb boss, insulting of nicknaming him if his
kindness permits the situation. We mankind are like this, biting the hand that
feeds us, abusing good people and crawling before real sonofabitches. Because
the evil boss, bad-tempered without reason, always molesting and humilliating
his subordinates is much more typical, and it’s difficult to say if he went
cruel because circumstances and abusers led him to be or just because one get
rotten having the single chance and no reason.
In the family field the same can be found.
Relationships are generally built over a strong and a weak counterpart among
adults, and around a despotic parent and a kind one against the kid when
educating underagers. But sometimes parents fall into excessive connivence and
children then become real monsters, tyrannical brats with no sense of right or
wrong, only whims, shouts and cries.
From my point of view, I have always defended
the necessity of being nice, although firm, but from some time on I prefer, on increasing
occasions, to settle conflicts with youngsters with a terrifying shout. And,
educative or not, it works much better that good words and an infinite patience
with them. Of course you cannot be all the time yelling, but once in a blue
moon it makes them remember who is the alpha male here, because in a classroom
we are not the same. The master orders, and the apprentices try not to obey.
It’s a fact of life.
For the rest of human relations, I’m still
finding a way. The best I have found up to now is “Yes, darling, a crawling
worm and I don’t deserve to live”. It works too. J
There's nothing like a good shout. You said it.
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